Case Tape 347

THE BEST SALES PERSON

Manager: "Do you have any sales experience?"

Indian salesman: "Sir, I was a salesman back home in India."

Well, the boss liked the Indian so he gave him the job. "You start
tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the
store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many sales did you make
today?"

Indian boy says: "Sir, Just one sale."

The boss says: "Just ONE? No! No! No! You see here our sales people
average 20 or 30 sales a day." If you want to keep this job, you'd
better be doing better than just one sale. By the way, how much was
the sale for?"

Indian boy says: " $101 237. 64"

Boss says: "$101 237. 64? What did you sell?"

Indian boy says: "Sir, First I sold a small fishhook, then a medium
fishhook, a large one and a new fishing rod with some fishing gear.

Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down on the
coast, so I told him he'll need a boat, so we went down to the boating
department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft.

Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took
him down to our automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Blazer.

I then asked him where he would be staying, and since he had no
accommodation, I took him to camping department and sold him one of
those new igloo 6 sleeper camper tents.

Then the guy said, while we're at it, I should throw in about $100
worth of groceries and two cases of beer.

The boss said: "You're not serious? A guy came in here to buy a
fishhook and you sold him a boat, a 4X4 truck and a tent?"

Indian boy says: "No Sir, actually he came in to buy Anacin for his
headache, and I
said: Well, fishing is the best way to relax your mind."...

Excellence...

A German once visited a temple under construction where he saw a sculptor making an idol of God. Suddenly he noticed a similar idol lying nearby. Surprised, he asked the sculptor, "Do you need two statues of the same idol?" "No," said the sculptor without looking up, "We need only one, but the first one got damaged at the last stage." The gentleman examined the idol and found no apparent damage. "Where is the damage?" he asked. "There is a scratch on the nose of the idol." said the sculptor, still busy with his work. "Where are you going to install the idol?"

The sculptor replied that it would be installed on a pillar twenty feet high. "If the idol is that far, who is going to know that there is a scratch on the nose?" the gentleman asked. The sculptor stopped his work, looked up at the gentleman, smiled and said, "I will know it."
The desire to excel is exclusive of the fact whether someone else appreciates it or not. "Excellence" is a drive from inside, not outside.

Excellence is not for someone else to notice but for your own satisfaction and efficiency!!

Child Custody

A man and his wife were seeking a divorce at a local court. But the custody of their child posed a problem.

The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the child into this world, she should retain custody.

The man also wanted custody of his child. The judge asked for his side of the story too.

After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and argued, Your Honour, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?

Do you have any answer????

THE PERFECT BOSS

There were about 70 scientists working on a very hectic project. All of them were really frustrated due to the pressure of work and the demands of their boss but everyone was loyal to him and did not think of quitting their job.

One day, one scientist came to his boss and told him, "Sir, I have promised my children that I will take them to the exhibition going on in our township so I want to leave the office at 5:30 pm."

His boss replied, "OK, You're permitted to leave the office early today."

The Scientist started working. He continued his work after lunch. As usual, he got involved to such an extent that he looked at his watch only when he felt he was close to completion. The time was 8.30 PM.

Suddenly he remembered the promise he had made to his children.

He looked for his boss but he was not there. Having told him in the morning himself, he closed everything and left for home. Deep within himself, he was feeling guilty for having disappointed his children. He reached home. The children were not there.

His wife alone was sitting in the hall and reading magazines. The situation was explosive; any talk would boomerang on him. His wife asked him, "Would you like to have coffee or shall I straight away serve dinner if you are hungry?"

The man replied, "If you would like to have coffee, I too will have but what about the children?"

Hi wife replied, "You don't know? Your boss came here at 5.15 PM and has taken the children to the exhibition."

What had really happened was ... The boss who granted him permission was observing him working seriously at 5.00 PM. He thought to himself, this person will not leave the work, but if he has promised his children they should enjoy the visit to exhibition. So he took the lead in taking them to exhibition.

The boss does not have to do it every time. But once it is done, loyalty is established.

That is why all the scientists at Thumba continued to work under their boss even though the stress was tremendous.

By the way, can you hazard a guess as to who the boss was?

He was none other than the mastermind behind India 's successful nuclear weapons and missiles program.

Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, Former President of India!

REFLECTION

A good boss makes his men realize they have more ability than they think they have, so that they consistently do better work than they thought they could.

The foundation and life of a good company depends on its boss.  A good boss

has sincere care and concern for each of his employees. He can perfectly understand an individual employee and their unique abilities and their differing circumstances. He pays a lot of attention to his employees needs and tries to be fair with all and plays no favorite to anyone in particular. He stands by his rules and follows strictly what he demands of others.

 He is also easily accessible as has a good touch with the reality of what his employees go through on a daily basis. He is always available for them in any circumstance. That's the only way he truly knows what they're doing and the only way he can honestly be their "boss."

 Now a days its rare to find such bosses, but they are the true pillars whom people look up to as good leaders.

 It's our duty to contemplate on the above and in case one of us become a "boss" in future, we can reflect on what an employee actually seeks from a good boss. It is always gooo to maintain a good boss- employee relationship for the benefit of the company as well as the individual.

 Be a good boss, be a good leader and set an example as a role model for others to follow!

Attitude

A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda Carton and ask

him for a phone call.

Shop-owner replied sweetly this is no STD, but you can  do one call.

The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:

The boy asked, "Lady, Can you give me the job of  cutting Your lawn?

The Woman replied, "I already have someone to cut my Lawn."

Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person Who cuts

your  Lawn now." replied boy.

The woman responded that she was very satisfied with  the person who

was presently cutting her lawn.

The little boy found more perseverance and offered,  "Lady, I'll even

sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the

prettiest lawn  in all of North-Palm beach, Florida."

Again the woman answered in the negative.

With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The

Store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked  over to the boy

and

Said," Son... I like your attitude; I like that  positive spirit and

would like to offer you a job." The little boy replied, "No  Thanks, I

was just  checking my performance with the job I already have. I am

the one who is  working for that lady, I was talking to!"

Your ALTITUDE is decided by your ATTITUDE...

"Problem is just the distance between Expectation and Reality....

          So either expect less or Accept the Reality or.................

Expect a Lot and turn into Reality............... "

THE WORKAHOLIC FATHER

Once, a certain father was a very hardworking man who delivered bread

as a living to support his wife and three children. He spent all his

evenings after work attending classes, hoping to improve himself so

that he could one day find a better paying job. Except for Sundays, he

hardly ate a meal together with his family. He worked and

studied very hard because he wanted to provide his family with the best money could buy.

Whenever the family complained that he was not spending enough time

with them, he reasoned that he was doing all this for them. But he

often yearned to spend more time with his family.

The day came when the examination results were announced. To his

joy, he had passed, and with distinctions too! Soon after, he was

offered a good job as a senior supervisor which paid handsomely.

Like a dream come true, he could now afford to provide his family with

life’s little luxuries like nice clothing, fine food and vacation

abroad.

However, the family still did not get to see father for most of the

week. He continued to work very hard, hoping to be promoted to the

position of manager. In fact, to make himself a worthily candidate for

the promotion, he enrolled for another course in the open university.

Again, whenever the family complained that he was not spending enough

time with them, he reasoned that he was doing all this for them. But he

often yearned to spend more time with his family.

His hard work paid off and he was promoted. Jubilantly, he decided to

hire a maid to relieve his wife from her domestic tasks. He also felt

that their three-room flat was no longer big enough, it would be nice for his family to be able to enjoy

the facilities and comfort of a condominium. Having experienced the

rewards of his hard work many times before, he resolved to further his

studies and work at being promoted again.

The family still did not get to see much of him. In fact, sometimes he

had to work on Sundays entertaining clients. Again, whenever the family

complained that he was not spending enough time with them, he reasoned that he was doing all this

for them. But he often yearned to spend more time with his family.

As expected, his hard work paid off again and he bought a beautiful

condominium overlooking the coast of Singapore. On the first Sunday

evening at their new home, he declared to his family finally that he

has decided not to take anymore courses or pursue any more promotions.

From then on he was going to devote more time to his family exclusively and pay them back for all the times he had missed being with his

family.

But unfortunately he did not wake up the next morning..... ...!

REFLECTION

In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years!

Give enough time to the important things in life like family, friends,

love, sharing a laughter or just listening to others, for others may

truly love you and it is important to give your love back to them in

whatever way you can, not only because they love you, but because in a

way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes

to things around you and find the deeper meaning to life.

Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from those

moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to

experience it again.

Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and listen to what

they have to say. And if you love someone tell them, for you never know

what tomorrow may have in store.

Learn a lesson in life each day that you live! Today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday.Think About it? Was it worth it?

There is nothing more important in life than LIFE itself! Think. ......... ......... ....

B8U87PVJQTZD 

Idiot Watson

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.

“And what do you deduce from that?”

Watson ponders for a minute. “Well,
bullet

Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
bullet

Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
bullet

Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
bullet

Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
bullet

Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.

But what does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes is silent for a moment.

“Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”

Clever Boy

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of a dollar?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I'll take the dollar, the game will be over!”

THE ELEPHANTS BONDAGE

As my friend was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from the ropes they were tied to but for some reason, they did not. My friend saw a trainer nearby and asked why these beautiful, magnificent animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away.

"Well," he said, "when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it's enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free."

My friend was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn't, they were stuck right where they were.

REFLECTION

Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something or change something, simply because we failed at it once before or have a pre-conception or mis-conception about something?

We become so attached and entangled to the same views, thoughts, misconceptions and go round and round in this vicious cycle that we suffer due to bondage, caught in the web of maya or illusion.

So we should all make an attempt to grow further and be free and liberated from such unneccesary bondages in life, which are nothing but just like the unnesseccary heavy luggages we carry while travelling which makes our journey of life only even more difficult and hard to cross.

Be bold and have courage to make an attempt to free yourself consciously from such bondages in life, you may once or twice fail in your attempts, but NEVER fail to make an attempt!!

"Bondage is of the mind; freedom too is of the mind. If you say 'I am a free soul. I am a son of God who can bind me?...' free you shall be". - Sri Ramakrishna Paramahansa.

"The moment I have realized God sitting in the temple of every human body, the moment I stand in reverence before every human being and see God in him - that moment I am free from bondage, everything that binds vanishes, and I am free." - Swami Vivekananda.

Understand the problem first

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops.

At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet height, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground.

He glared at the driver and said, “Big John doesn’t pay!” and sat down at the back. Naturally, he didn’t argue with Big John, but he wasn’t happy about it.

The next day the same thing happened-Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. The next day also he said the same and this had become a routine. The bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John, was taking advantage of him.

Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff. By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong.

So, on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, “Big John doesn’t pay!,”

The driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, “And why not?”

With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, “Big John has a bus pass.”

Moral of the story: “Be sure there is a problem in the first place before working hard to solve one.”

THE WISE OLD MAN’S LESSON

A wealthy man requested an old scholar to wean his son away from his bad habits.


The scholar took the youth for a stroll through a garden. Stopping suddenly he asked the boy to pull out a tiny plant growing there. The youth held the plant between his thumb and forefinger and pulled it out.



The old man then asked him to pull out a slightly bigger plant. The youth pulled hard and the plant came out, roots and all.


"Now pull out that one," said the old man pointing to a bush. The boy had to use all his strength to pull it out.


"Now take this one out," said the old man, indicating a guava tree. The youth grasped the trunk and tried to pull it out. But it would not budge.


"I – It's impossible," said the boy, panting with the effort.


"So it is with bad habits," said the sage. "When they are young it is easy to pull them out but when they take hold they cannot be uprooted."


The session with the old man changed the boy's life.



REFLECTION



Habits form character and character is destiny- we sow our thoughts and reap our actions; we sow our actions and reap our habits; we sow our habits and reap our characters; we sow our character and reap our destiny. Thus, first we form habits, then habits form us.


Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of. It is easier to prevent bad habits than to break them.

There is an old saying that, one can't kill a frog by dropping him into hot water. As we drop him into the hot water, he reacts so quickly that he immediately jumps out unharmed. But if we put him in cold water and gradually warm it up until it is scalding hot, we have him cooked before he knows it. The encroachment of bad habits in our lives is very much like this.The chains of bad habits are generally too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.



Conquer your bad habits soon or very soon they will conquer you! 

HANUMAN AND VIBHEESHAN

Once VIBHEESHAN approached HANUMAN & said, "How fortunate you're! Every day you do SRI RAMA smaran & you have fully earned HIS grace. I've also been doing SRI RAMA smaran for a long time but I've not been blessed with the opportunity of having his DARSHAN constantly like you have got."


Hanuman explained, "No doubt that you're doing smaran of LORD RAMA.

But did you ever participate in SERVICE? How can you earn SRI RAMA's grace without doing that? It is now a full 10 months since DEVI SITA has been in LANKA but did you ever console her & try to alleviate her sufferings? Did you meet her even once? Did you ever think of some way to relieve her agony? If you had done any of this, it would have amounted to SERVICE to the LORD." !!


REFLECTION
It's not enough if we remember god; it's not enough to go to places of worship; it's not enough to keep fast; it's not enough if we chant hymns & bhajans; it's not enough if we do pooja & other rituals; When we serve others, we're not doing it for them; we're doing it for the god in us who's equally present in others. Only the blind will be indifferent to the dismal condition of others; only the deaf will be unaffected by the sobs of others. 


Our heart must melt in compassion when the eye sees another person suffering. That is the sign of Spirituality! !!


Hands that serve are holier than the lips that pray!!! The more you give, the more you would get!!! 

Apology Lettter

School Master from a remote rural area in Bihar was transferred to a
new School in Mumbai.

He reported for duty two days after the actual date of joining.

Consequently he was asked for an explanation in writing...

____________ _________ _________

Appology Letter



Deer sur,

If small small mistakes getting inside my letter, I big you pardon,
ss
I am not a good englis speaker.

This is my fist vijit to Bombai. Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint
your school more fastly,

but for the following region, too much time lost in getting slipper
reservation in three-tyre compartment.

I tolded

I has head ache problem due to migration. Still the clerk rejected to
give ticket to I and my sun.

I putted a complain on station masterji.

He said I to go to the lady clerk.

At first she also rejected. I then pressed for long time and finally
with great difficulty she gave a birth to my sun.

Anyway I thanked the station master also because he was phully
responsible for getting birth of my sun.

Ass a hole it was a bhery diphicult experiment in my hole life.

I hope u will look into explain my hole story after, and late me joint
first.

I am now ending this fastly. I am a waiter for your responsement.

May God blast you!"

Yours awfully,

RAMKHILAWAN YADAV 

Spielberg, Carlsberg

A Chinese person walks into a bar in America late one night and sees Steven
Spielberg. As he is a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and
asks for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You
Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get outta here.
The astonished
Chinese man replies, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl
Harbor, it was the Japanese".
"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the
same," replies Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the
Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship.
Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It
was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."
The Chinese replies, "Iceberg,
Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same." 

THE THIEF’S PLAN

A thief hired a room at an inn and stayed there at night. The next morning when he looked out of his window he saw the owner of the inn sitting in the courtyard. The man was wearing an expensive new coat which the thief decided would look good on himself.

Accordingly he went out and sitting beside the innkeeper, struck up a conversation with him. Presently he yawned and then to the innkeeper's astonishment, howled like a wolf.

"Why did you do that?" asked the innkeeper.

"I have no control over it," said the thief. "If I yawn three times I actually turn into a wolf. Please don't leave me. I'm frightened!"

And with that he yawned again and let out another howl. The innkeeper turned pale and got up to go but the thief caught hold of his coat and begged him to stay. Even as he pleaded, he yawned again.

The terrified innkeeper wriggled out of the coat to which the thief was tightly holding on and ran into the inn and locked himself in.

The thief calmly put on the coat and walked away.



REFLECTION



Don’t believe to every tale you hear, whether it is good or bad or whether it’s about someone or even about you. Every tale heard from others need not be true. In other words, gossip is like the smoke that comes from the dirty tobacco-pipes of those who diffuse it: it proves nothing but the bad taste of the smoker.



In our appetite for gossip, we tend to gobble down everything before us, only to find, too late, that it is our ideals we have consumed, and we have not been enlarged by the feasts but only diminished.


Be alert to the power of discrimination and just be like an elephant which knows to separate good water from the bad and consume only the good. Take only what is needed for your own improvement and discard the rest!

What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. 

Small story on Management Lesson

A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the first house of the street. A tall lady answered the door.

Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet.
"Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful Vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this s**t!" exclaimed the eager salesman.
"Do you need chilly sauce or ketchup with that" asked the lady.
The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"

"There's no electricity in the house..." said the lady

MORAL: Gather all resources before working on any project and committing to the client...!!!

THE MILLIONAIRE AND THE MONK

There was a millionaire who was bothered by severe eye pain. He consulted so many physicians and was getting his treatment done. He did not stop consulting galaxy of medical experts; he consumed heavy loads of drugs and underwent hundreds of injections.

But the ache persisted with great vigour than before. At last a monk who has supposed to be an expert in treating such patients was called for by the millionaire.

The monk understood his problem and said that for sometime he should concentrate only on green colours and not to fall his eyes on any other colours.
The millionaire got together a group of painters and purchased barrels of green color and directed that every object his eye was likely to fall to be painted in green colour just as the monk had directed.
&nbsp ;
When the monk came to visit him after few days, the millionaire's servants ran with buckets of green paints and poured on him since he was in red dress, lest their master not see any other colour and his eye ache would come back.

Hearing this monk laughed said "If only you had purchased a pair of green spectacles, worth just a few rupees, you could have saved these walls and trees and pots and all other articles and also could have saved a large share of his fortune."!!

REFLECTION

You cannot paint the world green.Let us change our vision and the world will appear accordingly.

It is foolish to shape the world, let us shape ourselves first.
Lets change our vision!! Think simple, Live simple!

I am an Indian

An American visited India and went back to America
Where he met his Indian friend who asked him
How did u find my Country
The American said it is a great country
With solid ancient history
And immensely rich with natural resources.
The Indian friend then asked.
How did u find Indians??

Indians…?
Who Indians?
I didn't find or met a single Indian there in India.

What nonsense??
Who else could u met in India then??
The American said..
In Kashmir I met a Kashmiri
In Punjab a Panjabi
In Bihar, Maharastra, Rajasthan, Bengal, Tamil Nadu, Kerala
Bihari, Marathi, Marwadi, Bengali, Tamilian, Malayali

Then I met
A Hindu,
A Muslim,
A Christian,
A Jain,
A Buddhist

And many many many more
But not a single Indian did I meet

Think how serious this joke is..
The day would not be far off when indeed we would
Become a collection of nation states as some
Regional anti-national politicians want...
Fight back -
Always say I am Indian
Jai hind

Coolest doubt in Mahabharat

In some remote village of India, one masterji is teaching the Mahabharat katha to class 6 students. He is at the 'krishnajanma' part of it. Masterji: "Kansa heard the akashwani that his sister's 8th child is going to kill him. He was furious. He ordered to put vasudev n devki behind the bars. First son is born, and kansa kills him by poisoning... Second one is born n kansa throws him off the mountain peak. Third one is born..." Now Ramu, who is smartest of the lot, puts up his hand. Masterji, I have a doubt (sounding nervous n confused) Masterji: "Ramu bete, whole India does not have doubt in mahabharata then how come u have one?" Ramu : Masterji, if Kansa knew that Devaki's 8th child was going to Kill him, WHY THE HELL DID HE PUT VASUDEV AND DEVAKI IN THE SAME CELL (Jail)? Masterji fainted.........................