Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.
“And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson ponders for a minute. “Well,
bullet
Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
bullet
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
bullet
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
bullet
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
bullet
Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.
But what does it tell you, Holmes?”
Holmes is silent for a moment.
“Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”
Friday, February 26, 2010
Clever Boy
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of a dollar?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I'll take the dollar, the game will be over!”
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
THE ELEPHANTS BONDAGE
As my friend was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from the ropes they were tied to but for some reason, they did not. My friend saw a trainer nearby and asked why these beautiful, magnificent animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away.
"Well," he said, "when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it's enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free."
My friend was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn't, they were stuck right where they were.
REFLECTION
Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something or change something, simply because we failed at it once before or have a pre-conception or mis-conception about something?
We become so attached and entangled to the same views, thoughts, misconceptions and go round and round in this vicious cycle that we suffer due to bondage, caught in the web of maya or illusion.
So we should all make an attempt to grow further and be free and liberated from such unneccesary bondages in life, which are nothing but just like the unnesseccary heavy luggages we carry while travelling which makes our journey of life only even more difficult and hard to cross.
Be bold and have courage to make an attempt to free yourself consciously from such bondages in life, you may once or twice fail in your attempts, but NEVER fail to make an attempt!!
"Bondage is of the mind; freedom too is of the mind. If you say 'I am a free soul. I am a son of God who can bind me?...' free you shall be". - Sri Ramakrishna Paramahansa.
"The moment I have realized God sitting in the temple of every human body, the moment I stand in reverence before every human being and see God in him - that moment I am free from bondage, everything that binds vanishes, and I am free." - Swami Vivekananda.
"Well," he said, "when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it's enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free."
My friend was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn't, they were stuck right where they were.
REFLECTION
Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something or change something, simply because we failed at it once before or have a pre-conception or mis-conception about something?
We become so attached and entangled to the same views, thoughts, misconceptions and go round and round in this vicious cycle that we suffer due to bondage, caught in the web of maya or illusion.
So we should all make an attempt to grow further and be free and liberated from such unneccesary bondages in life, which are nothing but just like the unnesseccary heavy luggages we carry while travelling which makes our journey of life only even more difficult and hard to cross.
Be bold and have courage to make an attempt to free yourself consciously from such bondages in life, you may once or twice fail in your attempts, but NEVER fail to make an attempt!!
"Bondage is of the mind; freedom too is of the mind. If you say 'I am a free soul. I am a son of God who can bind me?...' free you shall be". - Sri Ramakrishna Paramahansa.
"The moment I have realized God sitting in the temple of every human body, the moment I stand in reverence before every human being and see God in him - that moment I am free from bondage, everything that binds vanishes, and I am free." - Swami Vivekananda.
Understand the problem first
One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops.
At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet height, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground.
He glared at the driver and said, “Big John doesn’t pay!” and sat down at the back. Naturally, he didn’t argue with Big John, but he wasn’t happy about it.
The next day the same thing happened-Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. The next day also he said the same and this had become a routine. The bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John, was taking advantage of him.
Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff. By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong.
So, on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, “Big John doesn’t pay!,”
The driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, “And why not?”
With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, “Big John has a bus pass.”
Moral of the story: “Be sure there is a problem in the first place before working hard to solve one.”
Thursday, February 18, 2010
THE WISE OLD MAN’S LESSON
A wealthy man requested an old scholar to wean his son away from his bad habits.
The scholar took the youth for a stroll through a garden. Stopping suddenly he asked the boy to pull out a tiny plant growing there. The youth held the plant between his thumb and forefinger and pulled it out.
The old man then asked him to pull out a slightly bigger plant. The youth pulled hard and the plant came out, roots and all.
"Now pull out that one," said the old man pointing to a bush. The boy had to use all his strength to pull it out.
"Now take this one out," said the old man, indicating a guava tree. The youth grasped the trunk and tried to pull it out. But it would not budge.
"I – It's impossible," said the boy, panting with the effort.
"So it is with bad habits," said the sage. "When they are young it is easy to pull them out but when they take hold they cannot be uprooted."
The session with the old man changed the boy's life.
REFLECTION
Habits form character and character is destiny- we sow our thoughts and reap our actions; we sow our actions and reap our habits; we sow our habits and reap our characters; we sow our character and reap our destiny. Thus, first we form habits, then habits form us.
Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of. It is easier to prevent bad habits than to break them.
There is an old saying that, one can't kill a frog by dropping him into hot water. As we drop him into the hot water, he reacts so quickly that he immediately jumps out unharmed. But if we put him in cold water and gradually warm it up until it is scalding hot, we have him cooked before he knows it. The encroachment of bad habits in our lives is very much like this.The chains of bad habits are generally too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.
Conquer your bad habits soon or very soon they will conquer you!
The scholar took the youth for a stroll through a garden. Stopping suddenly he asked the boy to pull out a tiny plant growing there. The youth held the plant between his thumb and forefinger and pulled it out.
The old man then asked him to pull out a slightly bigger plant. The youth pulled hard and the plant came out, roots and all.
"Now pull out that one," said the old man pointing to a bush. The boy had to use all his strength to pull it out.
"Now take this one out," said the old man, indicating a guava tree. The youth grasped the trunk and tried to pull it out. But it would not budge.
"I – It's impossible," said the boy, panting with the effort.
"So it is with bad habits," said the sage. "When they are young it is easy to pull them out but when they take hold they cannot be uprooted."
The session with the old man changed the boy's life.
REFLECTION
Habits form character and character is destiny- we sow our thoughts and reap our actions; we sow our actions and reap our habits; we sow our habits and reap our characters; we sow our character and reap our destiny. Thus, first we form habits, then habits form us.
Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of. It is easier to prevent bad habits than to break them.
There is an old saying that, one can't kill a frog by dropping him into hot water. As we drop him into the hot water, he reacts so quickly that he immediately jumps out unharmed. But if we put him in cold water and gradually warm it up until it is scalding hot, we have him cooked before he knows it. The encroachment of bad habits in our lives is very much like this.The chains of bad habits are generally too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.
Conquer your bad habits soon or very soon they will conquer you!
HANUMAN AND VIBHEESHAN
Once VIBHEESHAN approached HANUMAN & said, "How fortunate you're! Every day you do SRI RAMA smaran & you have fully earned HIS grace. I've also been doing SRI RAMA smaran for a long time but I've not been blessed with the opportunity of having his DARSHAN constantly like you have got."
Hanuman explained, "No doubt that you're doing smaran of LORD RAMA.
But did you ever participate in SERVICE? How can you earn SRI RAMA's grace without doing that? It is now a full 10 months since DEVI SITA has been in LANKA but did you ever console her & try to alleviate her sufferings? Did you meet her even once? Did you ever think of some way to relieve her agony? If you had done any of this, it would have amounted to SERVICE to the LORD." !!
REFLECTION
It's not enough if we remember god; it's not enough to go to places of worship; it's not enough to keep fast; it's not enough if we chant hymns & bhajans; it's not enough if we do pooja & other rituals; When we serve others, we're not doing it for them; we're doing it for the god in us who's equally present in others. Only the blind will be indifferent to the dismal condition of others; only the deaf will be unaffected by the sobs of others.
Our heart must melt in compassion when the eye sees another person suffering. That is the sign of Spirituality! !!
Hands that serve are holier than the lips that pray!!! The more you give, the more you would get!!!
Hanuman explained, "No doubt that you're doing smaran of LORD RAMA.
But did you ever participate in SERVICE? How can you earn SRI RAMA's grace without doing that? It is now a full 10 months since DEVI SITA has been in LANKA but did you ever console her & try to alleviate her sufferings? Did you meet her even once? Did you ever think of some way to relieve her agony? If you had done any of this, it would have amounted to SERVICE to the LORD." !!
REFLECTION
It's not enough if we remember god; it's not enough to go to places of worship; it's not enough to keep fast; it's not enough if we chant hymns & bhajans; it's not enough if we do pooja & other rituals; When we serve others, we're not doing it for them; we're doing it for the god in us who's equally present in others. Only the blind will be indifferent to the dismal condition of others; only the deaf will be unaffected by the sobs of others.
Our heart must melt in compassion when the eye sees another person suffering. That is the sign of Spirituality! !!
Hands that serve are holier than the lips that pray!!! The more you give, the more you would get!!!
Apology Lettter
School Master from a remote rural area in Bihar was transferred to a
new School in Mumbai.
He reported for duty two days after the actual date of joining.
Consequently he was asked for an explanation in writing...
____________ _________ _________
Appology Letter
Deer sur,
If small small mistakes getting inside my letter, I big you pardon,
ss
I am not a good englis speaker.
This is my fist vijit to Bombai. Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint
your school more fastly,
but for the following region, too much time lost in getting slipper
reservation in three-tyre compartment.
I tolded
I has head ache problem due to migration. Still the clerk rejected to
give ticket to I and my sun.
I putted a complain on station masterji.
He said I to go to the lady clerk.
At first she also rejected. I then pressed for long time and finally
with great difficulty she gave a birth to my sun.
Anyway I thanked the station master also because he was phully
responsible for getting birth of my sun.
Ass a hole it was a bhery diphicult experiment in my hole life.
I hope u will look into explain my hole story after, and late me joint
first.
I am now ending this fastly. I am a waiter for your responsement.
May God blast you!"
Yours awfully,
RAMKHILAWAN YADAV
new School in Mumbai.
He reported for duty two days after the actual date of joining.
Consequently he was asked for an explanation in writing...
____________ _________ _________
Appology Letter
Deer sur,
If small small mistakes getting inside my letter, I big you pardon,
ss
I am not a good englis speaker.
This is my fist vijit to Bombai. Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint
your school more fastly,
but for the following region, too much time lost in getting slipper
reservation in three-tyre compartment.
I tolded
I has head ache problem due to migration. Still the clerk rejected to
give ticket to I and my sun.
I putted a complain on station masterji.
He said I to go to the lady clerk.
At first she also rejected. I then pressed for long time and finally
with great difficulty she gave a birth to my sun.
Anyway I thanked the station master also because he was phully
responsible for getting birth of my sun.
Ass a hole it was a bhery diphicult experiment in my hole life.
I hope u will look into explain my hole story after, and late me joint
first.
I am now ending this fastly. I am a waiter for your responsement.
May God blast you!"
Yours awfully,
RAMKHILAWAN YADAV
Spielberg, Carlsberg
A Chinese person walks into a bar in America late one night and sees Steven
Spielberg. As he is a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and
asks for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You
Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get outta here.
The astonished
Chinese man replies, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl
Harbor, it was the Japanese".
"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the
same," replies Spielberg.
In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the
Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship.
Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It
was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."
The Chinese replies, "Iceberg,
Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."
Spielberg. As he is a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and
asks for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You
Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get outta here.
The astonished
Chinese man replies, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl
Harbor, it was the Japanese".
"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the
same," replies Spielberg.
In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the
Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship.
Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It
was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."
The Chinese replies, "Iceberg,
Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."
THE THIEF’S PLAN
A thief hired a room at an inn and stayed there at night. The next morning when he looked out of his window he saw the owner of the inn sitting in the courtyard. The man was wearing an expensive new coat which the thief decided would look good on himself.
Accordingly he went out and sitting beside the innkeeper, struck up a conversation with him. Presently he yawned and then to the innkeeper's astonishment, howled like a wolf.
"Why did you do that?" asked the innkeeper.
"I have no control over it," said the thief. "If I yawn three times I actually turn into a wolf. Please don't leave me. I'm frightened!"
And with that he yawned again and let out another howl. The innkeeper turned pale and got up to go but the thief caught hold of his coat and begged him to stay. Even as he pleaded, he yawned again.
The terrified innkeeper wriggled out of the coat to which the thief was tightly holding on and ran into the inn and locked himself in.
The thief calmly put on the coat and walked away.
REFLECTION
Don’t believe to every tale you hear, whether it is good or bad or whether it’s about someone or even about you. Every tale heard from others need not be true. In other words, gossip is like the smoke that comes from the dirty tobacco-pipes of those who diffuse it: it proves nothing but the bad taste of the smoker.
In our appetite for gossip, we tend to gobble down everything before us, only to find, too late, that it is our ideals we have consumed, and we have not been enlarged by the feasts but only diminished.
Be alert to the power of discrimination and just be like an elephant which knows to separate good water from the bad and consume only the good. Take only what is needed for your own improvement and discard the rest!
What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth.
Accordingly he went out and sitting beside the innkeeper, struck up a conversation with him. Presently he yawned and then to the innkeeper's astonishment, howled like a wolf.
"Why did you do that?" asked the innkeeper.
"I have no control over it," said the thief. "If I yawn three times I actually turn into a wolf. Please don't leave me. I'm frightened!"
And with that he yawned again and let out another howl. The innkeeper turned pale and got up to go but the thief caught hold of his coat and begged him to stay. Even as he pleaded, he yawned again.
The terrified innkeeper wriggled out of the coat to which the thief was tightly holding on and ran into the inn and locked himself in.
The thief calmly put on the coat and walked away.
REFLECTION
Don’t believe to every tale you hear, whether it is good or bad or whether it’s about someone or even about you. Every tale heard from others need not be true. In other words, gossip is like the smoke that comes from the dirty tobacco-pipes of those who diffuse it: it proves nothing but the bad taste of the smoker.
In our appetite for gossip, we tend to gobble down everything before us, only to find, too late, that it is our ideals we have consumed, and we have not been enlarged by the feasts but only diminished.
Be alert to the power of discrimination and just be like an elephant which knows to separate good water from the bad and consume only the good. Take only what is needed for your own improvement and discard the rest!
What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth.
Small story on Management Lesson
A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the first house of the street. A tall lady answered the door.
Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet.
"Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful Vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this s**t!" exclaimed the eager salesman.
"Do you need chilly sauce or ketchup with that" asked the lady.
The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"
"There's no electricity in the house..." said the lady
MORAL: Gather all resources before working on any project and committing to the client...!!!
Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet.
"Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful Vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this s**t!" exclaimed the eager salesman.
"Do you need chilly sauce or ketchup with that" asked the lady.
The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"
"There's no electricity in the house..." said the lady
MORAL: Gather all resources before working on any project and committing to the client...!!!
THE MILLIONAIRE AND THE MONK
There was a millionaire who was bothered by severe eye pain. He consulted so many physicians and was getting his treatment done. He did not stop consulting galaxy of medical experts; he consumed heavy loads of drugs and underwent hundreds of injections.
But the ache persisted with great vigour than before. At last a monk who has supposed to be an expert in treating such patients was called for by the millionaire.
The monk understood his problem and said that for sometime he should concentrate only on green colours and not to fall his eyes on any other colours.
The millionaire got together a group of painters and purchased barrels of green color and directed that every object his eye was likely to fall to be painted in green colour just as the monk had directed.
  ;
When the monk came to visit him after few days, the millionaire's servants ran with buckets of green paints and poured on him since he was in red dress, lest their master not see any other colour and his eye ache would come back.
Hearing this monk laughed said "If only you had purchased a pair of green spectacles, worth just a few rupees, you could have saved these walls and trees and pots and all other articles and also could have saved a large share of his fortune."!!
REFLECTION
You cannot paint the world green.Let us change our vision and the world will appear accordingly.
It is foolish to shape the world, let us shape ourselves first.
Lets change our vision!! Think simple, Live simple!
But the ache persisted with great vigour than before. At last a monk who has supposed to be an expert in treating such patients was called for by the millionaire.
The monk understood his problem and said that for sometime he should concentrate only on green colours and not to fall his eyes on any other colours.
The millionaire got together a group of painters and purchased barrels of green color and directed that every object his eye was likely to fall to be painted in green colour just as the monk had directed.
  ;
When the monk came to visit him after few days, the millionaire's servants ran with buckets of green paints and poured on him since he was in red dress, lest their master not see any other colour and his eye ache would come back.
Hearing this monk laughed said "If only you had purchased a pair of green spectacles, worth just a few rupees, you could have saved these walls and trees and pots and all other articles and also could have saved a large share of his fortune."!!
REFLECTION
You cannot paint the world green.Let us change our vision and the world will appear accordingly.
It is foolish to shape the world, let us shape ourselves first.
Lets change our vision!! Think simple, Live simple!
I am an Indian
An American visited India and went back to America
Where he met his Indian friend who asked him
How did u find my Country
The American said it is a great country
With solid ancient history
And immensely rich with natural resources.
The Indian friend then asked.
How did u find Indians??
Indians…?
Who Indians?
I didn't find or met a single Indian there in India.
What nonsense??
Who else could u met in India then??
The American said..
In Kashmir I met a Kashmiri
In Punjab a Panjabi
In Bihar, Maharastra, Rajasthan, Bengal, Tamil Nadu, Kerala
Bihari, Marathi, Marwadi, Bengali, Tamilian, Malayali
Then I met
A Hindu,
A Muslim,
A Christian,
A Jain,
A Buddhist
And many many many more
But not a single Indian did I meet
Think how serious this joke is..
The day would not be far off when indeed we would
Become a collection of nation states as some
Regional anti-national politicians want...
Fight back -
Always say I am Indian
Jai hind
Where he met his Indian friend who asked him
How did u find my Country
The American said it is a great country
With solid ancient history
And immensely rich with natural resources.
The Indian friend then asked.
How did u find Indians??
Indians…?
Who Indians?
I didn't find or met a single Indian there in India.
What nonsense??
Who else could u met in India then??
The American said..
In Kashmir I met a Kashmiri
In Punjab a Panjabi
In Bihar, Maharastra, Rajasthan, Bengal, Tamil Nadu, Kerala
Bihari, Marathi, Marwadi, Bengali, Tamilian, Malayali
Then I met
A Hindu,
A Muslim,
A Christian,
A Jain,
A Buddhist
And many many many more
But not a single Indian did I meet
Think how serious this joke is..
The day would not be far off when indeed we would
Become a collection of nation states as some
Regional anti-national politicians want...
Fight back -
Always say I am Indian
Jai hind
Coolest doubt in Mahabharat
| In some remote village of India, one masterji is teaching the Mahabharat katha to class 6 students. He is at the 'krishnajanma' part of it. Masterji: "Kansa heard the akashwani that his sister's 8th child is going to kill him. He was furious. He ordered to put vasudev n devki behind the bars. First son is born, and kansa kills him by poisoning... Second one is born n kansa throws him off the mountain peak. Third one is born..." Now Ramu, who is smartest of the lot, puts up his hand. Masterji, I have a doubt (sounding nervous n confused) Masterji: "Ramu bete, whole India does not have doubt in mahabharata then how come u have one?" Ramu : Masterji, if Kansa knew that Devaki's 8th child was going to Kill him, WHY THE HELL DID HE PUT VASUDEV AND DEVAKI IN THE SAME CELL (Jail)? Masterji fainted......................... |
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